Who’s On First?
‘Who’s On First?” is of course Abbott and Costello’s most famous routine. It was inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown in 1956 and Time magazine proclaimed it the “Best Comedy Sketch of the 20th Century” in 1999. The Greater Los Angeles Press Club, with great foresight, declared the exact same thing almost fifty years earlier. An early radio performance from the October 6, 1938 Kate Smith Show was placed in the Library of Congress’ National Recording Archives in 2003. (The first radio performance, on the March 24, 1938 show, has not been found.)
Tracing the lineage of “Who’s On First?”—or any burlesque routine for that matter—is not easy. Rarely is there a clear moment of creation. Burlesque was unique because virtually nothing was ever scripted. Comics drew on a canon of routines and situations that had been passed down for decades or even centuries. A comic’s worth was measured by how he interpreted and embellished the material. It was not unlike jazz in that regard, with each comedian riffing on a basic melody or composition.
As burlesque comics played with older, proven gags, “new” routines evolved. “There was nothing wrong with a new comedy scene,” Roland Barber explained in his novel, The Night They Raided Minsky’s. “But it couldn’t be invented. It had to be patched together out of bits of old bits from old burlesque shows.”
Like most sketches, “Who’s On First?” came together by cherry picking bits from older routines, weaving the material together, and updating the context.
Joe Weber and Lew Fields were the seminal comedy team and became enormously popular before the turn of the 20th century with their German immigrant characters “Mike and Meyer.” Rowland Barber thought that “Who’s On First?” came out of Weber and Fields’ “Watt Street” routine. According to L. Marc and Armand Fields in From the Bowery to Broadway: Lew Fields and the Roots of American Popular Theatre, the team performed this routine as early as 1885. An excerpt:
Weber: Oh, I’m zo happy to see you. Vat are you doing downtown here?
Fields: Vell, I voik here.
Weber: You voik around here?
Fields: Yes, I do.
Weber: Oh zat’s vonderful because you are the only one zat doesn’t make me nervous. Vhy don’t you haff lunch vit me zometime?
Fields: I’d love to.
Weber: I’ll tell you vot I’ll do. If you tell me the name of the street vhere you are, I’ll come pick you up.
Fields: Watt Street.
Weber: The street you voik on so I come pick you up.
Fields: Watt Street.
Weber: The street you’re voiking on.
Fields: Watt Street.
Weber: The street where you voik.
Fields: Watt Street.
Weber: I’m asking you, don’t you ask me! Now tell me the street. Everything has a name. The city has a name. You have a name. Now vot is the name of the street you voik on?!
Fields: Calm down. Look, I voik on Watt Street. I’ll shpell it for you, okay? Watt. W-a-t-t. Watt Street, see?
Weber: Oh, Watt Street! Vy didn’t you say zo! I thought you were making fun of me.
Of course Weber and Fields were not the first to find humor in “Watt Street.” Jokes probably began the moment the street signs went up in the mid-1800s.
Here’s an entry in The Rural Repository Devoted to Polite Literature, an early kind of Reader’s Digest, published in 1845:
“Vat street is dis, sare?” asked a Frenchman of a passenger.
“Watt Street.”
“Dis street!”
“Watt Street.”
“I say, sare, dis street.”
“Well I say, Watt Street!”
“Sacre! Monsieur, vous est impoli. I ask you de name of dis street, and all the time you ask me ‘What street!’ Peste!”
In 1866, Flag of Our Union, a weekly paper published in Boston, carried a similar anecdote about a Frenchman on Watts Street asking a directions:
“Mon fren, what’s ze name of zis street?”
“Well, who said it wasn’t?”
“What do you call zis street?”
“Of course we do.”
Weber and Fields stopped performing in 1904 but continued to produce shows. Numerous comedy teams attempted to fill the void and adopted their German characters as well as “Watt Street.” Notably, Al Raymond and Frank Caverly (né Cavilli) did the bit for twenty years and were billed as “The Boys Who Made Watt Street Famous.” (Perhaps not coincidentally, Raymond married Joe Weber’s niece in 1912.) Here’s a sample of their variation:
“I liff on Watt Street. Vy don’t you come see me never?”
“Vat street you liff?”
“Chess.”
“Chess, I’m asking you vot street you liff on?”
“And I’m tolding you, Watt Sreet.”
“Ach, I’m sticking my eye in your finger if you don’t understood me.”
“When I’m esking you vot street you live on? (Excitedly) And I’ll tolding you, Watt Street! Watt Street!”
Reviewing Raymond and Caverly in 1911, the Los Angeles Herald moaned, “‘What’s the name of your street?’ ‘Watt street.’ ‘Yes, what street?’ And so it goes. You know the linguistic which ordinarily follows that sort of an opening. The perpetrators this time are Raymond and Caverly, ‘German comedians,’ at the Orpheum. They’re headliners, too, though there isn’t a new idea in all their patter nor a new twist on that much abused utensil of vaudeville humor, the German dialect.”
Another team trading on the “Watt” confusion was Clarence Kolb and Max Dill, who generally worked west of the Rockies. Their 1908 show, “Lonesome Town,” was set in Watts before it became part of Los Angeles. (The town sued the comedians for $25,000 because, the town fathers alleged, their jokes hurt the sale of municipal bonds.)
By 1914 two very popular Weber and Fields clones, George Carson and Jacob Willard, had updated their act so that only one of them worked with a German accent. (Later, neither man did.) Variety was impressed with how they “put a new twist into this tangle, and one isn’t bored to death hearing about Watt Street from them.” Carson and Willard had other wordplay bits, including Iona Mine, and claimed to have originated the “Teller in the Bank” misunderstanding (later used by Abbott and Costello in Hit The Ice [1943]). Their partnership lasted 25 years, until Carson’s death in 1936.
At least Watt Street and Watts were a real places, and the confusion was relatable. But more contrived wordplay soon appeared. In that 1911 review of Raymond and Caverly, the Los Angeles Herald reported that “one of them proudly informs the other that he has become the owner of two Old Foundland dogs. ‘What’s their names?’ comes the query. ‘Try and Guess,’ replies the dog fancier, and we have the same thing all over again. If you like this sort of stuff, Raymond and Caverly probably will amuse you.”
Raymond and Caverly also had a bit about “Ida Know,” which may have been inspired by another famous German dialect team, the Rogers Brothers, with whom they toured. Max and Gus Rogers were contemporaries, friends, and rivals of Weber and Fields; some modern critics accuse them of stealing the latter’s act. From 1899 until Gus’ untimely death in 1908, the brothers appeared in a series of popular musical comedies with the rare distinction (like Abbott and Costello later) of having their names in the titles: “The Rogers Bros. in Paris,” “The Rogers Bros. in London,” “The Rogers Bros. at Harvard,” “The Rogers Bros. in Wall Street,” and so on.
In “The Rogers Bros. in Panama,” Gus was a character named “Hugo Kisser,” while Max was named “A. Gustave Windt.” Variety‘s critic gushed, “It is simply a shrieking delight to hear Gus tell his brother his name is ‘You-go-kiss her’ and have Max ask ‘Who?’ with many repetitions. It’s screamingly ridiculous, and so original. Then Max says he is ‘A Gust of Wind.’ It is no use talking; they do know comedy on Broadway.”
In the mid-1910s, (Charles Elbert) Kenney and (E. Booth) Platt developed a routine called “Nobody Paid You.” Billboard reported, “They work the ‘Nobody’ gag with the nicety and finish of a Raymond and Caverly, who have risen to fame with their ‘Watt Street’ entanglement.” (The team actually billed themselves as Kenney, Nobody and Platt.)
The “Nobody” idea wasn’t original, either. It goes back nearly three thousand years to The Odyssey, where the Greek hero Odysseus tells the man-eating Cyclops Polyphemus that his name is “Nobody.” Later, when Odysseus and his men drive a red-hot staff into its eye, Polyphemus bellows, “Help! Nobody’s killing me! Nobody’s killing me!” None of the other Cyclopes bother to come to his aid. (Similarly, in 12th century Welsh folklore, King Arthur slayed the three sisters of the giant Cribwr by introducing himself as “Hot Soup” to the first sister; “Warm Porridge” to the second; and “Piece of Bread” to the third. When the first sister cried out for help against “Hot Soup,” Cribwr answered, “Silly girl, let it cool.” When his second sister sought help against “Warm Porridge,” Cribwr answered the same way. And, when the third sister cried out that “Piece of Bread” was choking her, Cribwr answered, “Silly girl, take a smaller piece.”)
Vaudevillians Ted and Clara Steele built their crossfire around the phrase “Is it?”
George Richards and William Armstrong talked about a man named “Goodbye.”
Jack Mundy used the name “Hugo Tugh,” which was confused for “You go, too.”
Another routine used the names Izzy and Wuzzy:
Straight: How’s your sister?
Comic: Oh, she’s fine: she’s married and got twins…
Straight: What are their names?
Comic: Izzy and Wuzzy.
Straight: Izzy and Wuzzy. Well how are they?
Comic: Well, last week Izzy was sick. But he’s all right now. But when I left the house this morning, Wuzzy was sick.
Straight: Oh, is he?
Comic: No, Wuzzy.
Straight: That’s what I said: Is he?
Comic: No, Wuzzy. Izzy was sick last week.
Straight: Oh, was he?
Comic: No, Izzy.
Straight: I thought you said Wuzzy was sick.
Comic: Wuzzy was sick. But now Izzy is sick.
Straight: Oh, Wuzzy was sick? Izzy?
Comic: (Digusted) Oh, they’re both dead!
Two veteran burlesque comics, Steve Mills and Irving Benson, as well as Ralph Allen, author of the musical Sugar Babies, considered another vintage sketch, “Who and Dye,” to be the forerunner of “Who’s On First?” It featured a business owner named Who, an accountant named Watt and, in some versions, an employee named Hee. The sketch introduced more confusion over “dyeing” and “dying.”
Bud Abbott, however, always said that “Who’s On First?” was descended from an old minstrel sketch called “Who’s the Boss?” which, like “Who Dyed?,” featured a business owner named Who and other employees named Watt and, in some versions, Hee and Ida Know.
Vaudevillian Harry Lang did “Who is Your Boss” throughout the 1920s with a few partners, including Harry Steppe’s former straight man, Harry O’Neal. (Bud Abbott worked with Steppe several times after Steppe split with O’Neal.) In 1929 Lang and his wife, Bernice Haley, filmed the routine for a Vitaphone short, Who’s Who. Film survives, but the soundtrack disk has not been found. Reviewers pointed out that this wordplay was “timeworn,” but handled well nonetheless.
These punning bits were not confined to burlesque or America. In their 1930 comedy Cracked Nuts, Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsey, channeling Kolb and Dill, examine a map of a mythical kingdom with towns named What and Which.
In the Little Rascal’s short Bargain Day (1931), Wheezer, Shirley Jean and Stymie get confused between “Watt Street” and “What street?” (The screenwriter, H. M. Walker, had a fondness for burlesque sketches.)
English comedian Will Hay, famous for his bumbling schoolmaster character from the 1920s on, did many wordplay routines with his “students.” One begins:
“What is a unit of electricity?”
“A watt.”
“A unit of electricity!”
In his film Boys Will Be Boys (1934), a student says, “Howe Hi is a Chinaman.”
Hay repeats, “How high is a Chinaman?”
“Yes.”
“Depends on the Chinaman.”
“I didn’t ask you. I told you. I simply said, ‘Howe Hi is a Chinaman.'”
Another exchange was about a schoolboy named Howe from Whye.
Meanwhile, baseball saw an unprecedented rise in popularity after 1900. The song “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” was written in 1908, and several classic stadiums were erected between 1909 and 1914, including Forbes Field, Comiskey Park, Tiger Stadium, Fenway Park, Ebbets Field and Wrigley Field. Additionally, the Negro Leagues and numerous semi-pro and barnstorming teams were formed.
Many consider the period from 1921 to 1932 to be baseball’s Golden Age. Babe Ruth captured the public’s imagination; radio brought the sport to a national audience; and attendance jumped 50% over the 1910s. Ballplayers even began appearing in vaudeville.
Understandably, the sport inspired various kinds of burlesque and vaudeville sketches throughout the 1920s. There were crossfire routines using baseball vernacular (“He rode home on a fly.” “Saddled or bareback?”); mock baseball games; umpire sketches; and idiosyncratic attempts to describe the sport by British or Italian characters (probably not unlike Andy Griffith’s famous 1953 routine, “What It Was, Was Football.”)
Nicknames had already become an integral part of baseball. Before World War I there were Shoeless Joe Jackson, Smokey Joe Wood, Three Finger Brown, Home Run Baker, Dazzy Vance, plus numerous Lefty’s, Doc’s, Red’s, Dutch’s and Heinie’s. New players and new nicknames emerged in the 1920s, including Pie Traynor, Hack Wilson, Big Poison Waner, Tomato Face Callup, and Pickles Dillhoefer. At some point, some comic or comedy team must have seen an opportunity between the odd nicknames, the public’s familiarity with the sport, and the old wordplay routines.
Ralph Allen wrote that a forerunner of “Who’s On First?” called “Baseball’s Who’s Who” was popular with comics on the Mutual burlesque wheel, which rose and flourished in the 1920s. Abbott and Costello had worked on the Mutual circuit in the late 1920s in separate shows. Bud’s wife, Betty, a talented comedienne and performer, is quoted in the book Abbott and Costello in Hollywood: “Bud had done the baseball bit a long time before he worked with Lou. He did it with some comic, I don’t remember who, and it was a little different.”
Lou became enthralled by the sketch before he worked with Abbott. Perhaps the interest stemmed from the emergence of Dizzy and Daffy Dean, the aces of the St. Louis Cardinals pitching staff. In 1934, Dizzy was 30-7, Daffy was 19-11, and the Dean brothers each won two games in the World Series. The premise of the routine—funny nicknames in baseball—now had two household names in Dizzy and Daffy.
But when Costello tried it with another straight man (likely Joe Lyons) at Minsky’s Republic on 42nd Street, the producer threw it out after the first matinee.
After Costello and Abbott joined forces in 1936 they adopted the routine, which they usually referred to as “Baseball,” and continued honing it. Betty Abbott explained, “[Bud] and Lou put an awful lot of stuff in it, a lot of new material.” The boys took a what was a short story and turned it into a novel, expanding it to its very limits.
The following year the routine was the hit of a touring revue called “Hollywood Bandwagon.” But in 1938, when Bud and Lou began appearing on the Kate Smith radio show, Kate’s manager didn’t think the routine was funny when they auditioned it in his office, and kept it off the program. (Had he seen it performed with an audience, he would have no doubts.) After several weeks, however, he relented, and on March 24, 1938, the routine was a hit with radio audiences. It is possible that the routine was further expanded with the help of John Grant, a burlesque producer and straight man who became the team’s head writer just before the routine’s first radio performance.
Publicity agents claimed that Abbott and Costello performed “Who’s On First?” about 15,000 times during their partnership. That would average two performances per day, every day, for 21 years. Clearly this was an exaggeration. Still, Bud and Lou probably did the routine several hundred times. It has also been said that they never performed it the same way twice but this, too, is an overstatement. There are subtle differences between versions, usually because the boys themselves became mixed up, but the routine always follows a definite structure.
Life finally imitated art in September 2007 when Los Angeles Dodgers shortstop Chin-Lung Hu, a late-season call up from the minors, got his first major league hit. Dodgers announcer Vin Scully said, “Shades of Abbott and Costello. I can finally say, ‘Hu’s on first.'” (Hu was preceded by a second baseman named Allie Watt, who played his only game in the major leagues for the Washington Senators on Oct. 3, 1920. The routine was not well established at that time, so no one acknowledged the coincidence.)
Below is the video and edited transcript of what is generally considered their finest rendition of the routine, from their 1945 film The Naughty Nineties. They did two takes because the first was marred by laughter from the crew and extras.
LOU: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys’ names on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ballpark I’ll be able to know those fellows?
BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.
LOU: Funny names?
BUD: Nicknames, pet names. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third…
LOU: That’s what I want to find out; I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.
BUD: I’m telling you: Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third.
LOU: You know the fellows’ names?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Well, then, who’s playin’ first?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: I mean the fellow’s name on first base.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The fellow playin’ first base for St. Louis.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The guy on first base.
BUD: Who is on first.
LOU: Well what are you askin’ me for?
BUD: I’m not asking you—I’m telling you: Who is on first.
LOU: I’m asking you—who’s on first?
BUD: That’s the man’s name!
LOU: That’s who’s name?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Well go ahead and tell me.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The guy on first.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The first baseman!
BUD: Who is on first!
LOU: Have you got a first baseman on first?
BUD: Certainly!
LOU: Then who’s playing first?
BUD: Absolutely!
LOU: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
BUD: Every dollar of it! And why not, the man’s entitled to it.
LOU: Who is?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: So who gets it?
BUD: Why shouldn’t he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
LOU: Who’s wife?
BUD: Yes. After all, the man earns it.
LOU: Who does?
BUD: Absolutely.
LOU: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.
BUD: Oh, no, no. What is on second base.
LOU: I’m not asking you who’s on second.
BUD: Who’s on first.
LOU: That’s what I’m trying to find out!
BUD: Well, don’t change the players around.
LOU: I’m not changing nobody!
BUD: Now, take it easy.
LOU: What’s the guy’s name on first base?
BUD: What’s the guy’s name on second base.
LOU: I’m not askin’ ya who’s on second.
BUD: Who’s on first.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD: He’s on third. We’re not talking about him.
LOU: How did I get on third base?
BUD: You mentioned his name.
LOU: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say is playing third?
BUD: No, Who’s playing first.
LOU: Stay offa first, will ya?!
BUD: Well, what do you want me to do?
LOU: Now what’s the guy’s name on third base?
BUD: What’s on second.
LOU: I’m not asking ya who’s on second.
BUD: Who’s on first.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD: He’s on third.
LOU: There I go, back on third again.
BUD: Well, I can’t change their names.
LOU: Will you please stay on third base?
BUD: Please. Now what is it you want to know?
LOU: What is the fellow’s name on third base.
BUD: What is the fellow’s name on second base.
LOU: I’m not askin’ ya who’s on second!
BUD: Who’s on first.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD & LOU: Third base!
LOU: You got an outfield?
BUD: Oh, sure.
LOU: St. Louis has got a good outfield?
BUD: Oh, absolutely.
LOU: The left fielder’s name?
BUD: Why.
LOU: I don’t know, I just thought I’d ask you.
BUD: Well, I just thought I’d tell you.
LOU: Then tell me who’s playing left field?
BUD: Who’s playing first!
LOU: Stay out of the infield!
BUD: Don’t mention any names out here!
LOU: I want to know what’s the fellow’s name in left field?
BUD: What is on second.
LOU: I’m not askin’ ya who’s on second!
BUD: Who is on first.
LOU: I don’t know!
BUD & LOU: Third base!
BUD: Now take it easy, take it easy, man.
LOU: And the left fielder’s name?
BUD: Why.
LOU: Because!
BUD: Oh, he’s center field.
LOU: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on the team?
BUD: Wouldn’t this be a fine team without a pitcher.
LOU: I dunno. Tell me the pitcher’s name.
BUD: Tomorrow.
LOU: You don’t want to tell me today?
BUD: I’m tell you, man.
LOU: Then go ahead.
BUD: Tomorrow.
LOU: What time?
BUD: What time what?
LOU: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who’s pitching?!
BUD: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on—
LOU: I’ll break your arm if you say who’s on first!
BUD: Then why come up here and ask?
LOU: I want to know what’s the pitcher’s name?
BUD: What’s on second.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD & LOU: Third base!!
LOU: You gotta catcher?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: The catcher’s name?
BUD: Today.
LOU: Today. And Tomorrow’s pitching.
BUD: Now you’ve got it.
LOU: That’s all. St. Louis has a couple of days on their team, that’s all.
BUD: Well, I can’t help that. All right. What do you want me to do?
LOU: Gotta catcher?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: I’m a good catcher too you know.
BUD: I know that.
LOU: I would like to play for the St. Louis team.
BUD: Well I might arrange that.
LOU: I would like to catch. Now I’m being a good catcher, Tomorrow’s pitching on the team, and I’m catching.
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy up bunts the ball—
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Now when he bunts the ball—me being a good catcher—I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
BUD: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.
LOU: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!
BUD: Well, that’s all you have to do.
LOU: Is to throw it to first base?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Now who’s got it?
BUD: Naturally.
LOU: Who has it?
BUD: Naturally.
LOU: Naturally.
BUD: Naturally.
LOU: Okay.
BUD: Now you’ve got it.
LOU: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
BUD: No you don’t—you throw the ball to first base.
LOU: Then who gets it?
BUD: Naturally!
LOU: Okay.
BUD: All right.
LOU: I throw the ball to Naturally.
BUD: You don’t! You throw it to Who!
LOU: Naturally!
BUD: Well, that’s it. Say it that way.
LOU: That’s what I said!
BUD: You did not.
LOU: I said I’d throw the ball to Naturally.
BUD: You don’t. You throw it to Who.
LOU: Naturally.
BUD: Yes!
LOU: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it.
BUD: No! You throw the ball to first base—
LOU: Then who gets it?!
BUD: Naturally!
LOU: That’s what I’m saying!
BUD: You’re not saying that.
LOU: I throw the ball to Naturally!
BUD: You throw it to Who!
LOU: Naturally!
BUD: Naturally. Well, say it that way.
LOU: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING!
BUD: Now don’t get excited. Now don’t get excited.
LOU: I throw the ball to first base—
BUD: Then Who gets it!
LOU: HE BETTER GET IT!
BUD: All right, now don’t get excited. Take it easy.
LOU: Hrmmph. Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know throws it back to Tomorrow—a triple play.
BUD: Yeah, it could be.
LOU: Another guy gets up and it’s a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don’t know. He’s on third, and I don’t care!
BUD: What was that?
LOU: I said, I DON’T CARE!
BUD: Oh, that’s our shortstop!
Last TV performance
The last time Bud and Lou performed “Who’s On First?” for a national audience was on the October 7, 1956 Steve Allen Show. (Their last performance was likely in Las Vegas at the end of the year.) The routine was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame on the broadcast, but that moment is not included in this clip. The routine starts at 8:30 in. At the 12:13 mark, listen for a new exchange that Costello acknowledges by saying, “Where did this come from?”
The Sequel
Now watch this sequel from the Tonight Show in 2016: